Over the most recent years, I've been very reflective in my journey (aka life) and sometimes I'm quick to bottle up emotion and thoughts and keep them to myself because I don't think everyone needs to know I've had a change in a opinion or I've learned from my mistakes
. Now, this might be because early on I learned that (not all, but many) people don't want to see you be "successful." Pause, I can't be all mad because (let's be honest) I've been jealous of what someone else has had that I didn't and most likely still don't have. Resuming, I am an outgoing, insecure, overconfident, quick witted, cold, too emotional, family-oriented, selfie-taker who loves pop-culture, but loves Jesus more. I am weird, but I've embraced that far too long ago to think of that as a negative thing. I roll into my job most days listening to "ghetto" rap but you'll catch me crying to any Christian song about redemption and forgiveness. I believe in goodness in the world, but I'm not naive to the fact of the evils of the world. I am VERY positive until I feel my whole world is crashing down around me. At those points, I find myself looking to God the most and (really try) to thank him for giving me more perspective in my suffering. Again, my story isn't that interesting but, I want to share. I feel called to share. Do I pray every night? I try, but again, not perfect. I will admit, it's really hard for me to open a Bible consistently but I continue to wish that will be me someday. First step -- turn that wishing into praying. Again, not perfect.
I have a husband -- his name is Christian and he's a Christian. We met in 2011 on a blind date because of some Facebook flirting. I wish I could say our relationship started out easy and Godly...it didn't. I was (I've been humbled) an over confident person who thought I deserved to take and give whenever I wanted. Now days, you can catch us at Iowa State University sporting events (our alma mater) and with our families and friends. Do we fight? Duh. Do we have fun? Duh. Are we as complicated as when we first met? No, duh. Being Christ followers has really given our relationship everything it was missing when we first met. All and all, we're very dedicated to each other.
Side note, I will not that a majority of my post will be rambles and will most likely end somewhere completely different then where I began. I also suck at spelling... FYI.
What do I do? Well, I'm a teacher in the public school system. Do I enjoy it? Yes, I enjoy having a job and making a living. I enjoy the kids and the memories I'm making. Do I want to do it forever? I'm not sure. I have life goals and plans. We all know about life plans and goals though. They never seem to turn out the way you thought. Lately, I've been worried about what's next. Do we want to buy a home? Do we want to move back to Ames? Can we buy my parents home? How can I get a teaching job in my hometown? How much do we need to save? ETC. ETC. Here's the deal... I NEED TO STOP and I need to let Jesus START. He will open and close doors for me. Just like He's always done. I am a first year teacher and I think back to the spring when I was applying to schools and I was so anxious all the time and I was having interviews. I was worried sick. I looked to Jesus, but I wish I did it more. That's what I hope to continue to do. Day to day. I want to praise Him even when even when things are going amazing and not just when I need Him the most.
Why do I feel called to blog? Christian's are called to spread His name and word across all nations and to every tongue. Now, is this the only way I feel called to do that? No. However, this does give me an honest platform to talk about life (the imperfections & praises) and how I constantly need to look to Jesus.
Why follow? I want to be positive and I want to evolve. I want to spread the Gospel. I want to chat about life and how complicated you can be as a human. If you want honesty, this is the place.
